October 18, 2007

• I DID

  Here’s one for all you parents out there … for all of you who are home, in the trenches, every blessed hour of the day.
  Erma Bombeck wrote this for you, because she knew.

      One of these days you’ll explode
      and shout to all the kids,
      “Why don’t you just grow up
      and act your age!”

      And they will…

      Or, “You guys get outside
      and find something to do –
      without hurting each other
      And don’t slam the door!”

      And they don’t.

      You’ll straighten their bedrooms
      until it’s all neat and tidy,
      toys displayed on the shelf,
      hangers in the closet,
      animals caged.
      You’ll yell,
      “Now I want it to stay this way!”

      And it will…

      You will prepare a perfect dinner
      with a salad that hasn’t
      had all the olives picked out
      and a cake with
      no finger traces in the icing
      and you’ll say,
      “Now this is a meal for company.”

      And you will eat it alone…

      You’ll yell,
      “I want complete privacy on the phone.
      No screaming,
      Do you hear me?”

      And no one will answer.

      No more plastic tablecloths stained
      No more dandelion bouquets.
      No more iron-on patches.
      No more wet, knotted shoelaces,
      muddy boots or
      rubber bands for ponytails.

      Imagine…. a lipstick with a point,
      no babysitters for New Years Eve,
      washing clothes only once a week,
      no PTA meetings or silly school plays
      where your child is a tree,
      no car pools,
      blaring stereos or
      forgotten lunch money.

      No more Christmas presents made
      of library paste and toothpicks,
      no wet oatmeal kisses,
      no more tooth fairy,
      no more giggles in the dark,
      scraped knees to kiss
      or sticky fingers to clean

      Only a voice asking,
      “Why don’t you grow up?”

      And the silence echoes:
      “I did”

      Erma Bombeck

  • 7:59 pm
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